Leading people through conflict requires an emotional exchange between leaders and followers.
The leader gives inspiration, charisma, respect, and provides role modeling of a vision of the future, to her followers.
The follower gives encouragement, support, obedience, respect, and provides a feeling of self-worth through the act of deciding to follow, to the leader.
Often though in a conflict, both followers and leaders expect a one-way monologue rather than a two-way dialogue.
Leaders want the led to be quiet and follow without question.
Followers want leaders to listen or else be replaced by another leader who will.
The trouble with both desires (based in emotions not reason), played out in public, is that one side must bend to the whims and desires of the other, for goals to be accomplished, for visions to be realized and for emotional exchanges to be deemed worthwhile.
The true measure of leadership through conflict, is rising above selfish and self-serving human desires and role modeling that behavior (which wins respect) for followers.