HIT Piece 05.12.2015

I get asked a lot of questions. For the most part, I try to answer many of them in the FAQ section of the HSCT website.

But then there are questions that don’t fit in the area of frequently asked questions on a website. And I’d like to answer some of those questions today.

How do you have the energy and the time to do all of this?

I don’t. I have just enough energy to get done what I can get done and I don’t really have any more than that. Typically, I am ruthless with my time and I spend a lot of days (and nights) up late doing the things that I need to do to make projects come together. I also try to keep my priorities in order. Which is about as tough as it sounds.

Do you really practice what you preach?

As much as is as humanly possible. Which is a fancy way of saying that I fail much of the time. Look, I consult and train people in how to address conflict effectively in their lives. I have many ways of addressing conflict in my own life, but there are times when my professed values fail to match up to my stated values. But none among us are righteous. No. Not one of us.

How do you handle a client in a consultation situation?

As carefully as possible. I tend to listen more and provide more assurances than when I do in a larger group setting. This is because individuals are granular. Groups are not. People in a group can sometimes be influenced by the nodding of agreement of other people in the same space. In a 1-on-1 situation, listening to the issue and providing accurate, non-circuitous advice is critical for long-term client success.

What kind of stories do you tell yourself?

Ones that are personal to me, and that reflect the parts of my identity that I’m comfortable with. Many years ago, I decided to stop being such chameleon and start being more of the “real” me. With all the vulnerabilities and problems that come with that decision.

What’s it like to be a black entrepreneur in your field?

I was thinking about the answer to this question in the context of another black entrepreneur that I know a little bit more personally than in the context of Twitter or LinkedIN. There are two models of black success—and from that black entrepreneurship—that black folks my age see:

The Bill Cosby/Generation X model—this is the model I see the most often. It’s not flashy. It’s not shiny. It’s based on the idea that a college degree, and then an advanced degree, must be attained before entrepreneurial success can even be considered. This is the model that my mother (who is 65) pioneered for me in my house and that one of my sisters’ (who is 43 this year), followed—or at least tried to. For that generation, entrepreneurship was something that was only considered after a “fall back” was already established in some kind of way.

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air/Jay-Z Model—this is the model that many black entrepreneurs look up too. It’s the model based on leveraging another talent (Jay-Z leveraged money from record sales and other areas to produce other artists’ work and to eventually buy a stake in many other ventures); and then using that money to do something else. Kanye and Will Smith have done this well. Sports stars such as Michael Jordan and LeBron are doing the same thing. The other piece of the model is based in an idea that you may be able to stumble into something if you are fortunate enough to have a “Bill Cosby” like rich uncle.

In the field of peacemaking there are many black people doing great work under both of these models; or doing great work in a hybrid of two of these models (or more). But for me, as a black entrepreneur in the space of peace making and peace building, sometime it’s a lonely walk.

There are so many tools and techniques that are laying around that all the old models are going away. That’s the nature of my game.

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: jsorrells@hsconsultingandtraining.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

[ICYMI] CRaaS for Your Organization

Conflict resolution skills are not just for human resource professionals.

As our workplaces shift away from being industrial based to being intellectually based, workplace locations are shifting from being physical to being ephemeral.

But as we’ve noted in this space before, conflict stays the same because, while the jury may be out on whether or not Google is making us stupid, our brains as biological organisms still engage in conflict with other brains.

Human resource professionals in organizations are more burdened than ever before with dealing with regulatory changes, endless legal issues and addressing perceived “soft skills” based issues such as bullying and harassment.

Conflict resolution skills become more critical in this type of environment, but who has time to develop the “human resources” in their intellectually based organizations doing intellectually based, customer service oriented work?

The answer is, much like the offering of Software-as-a-Service most recently, to take the learning of conflict resolution skills outside, off-site and “to the cloud.”

Conflict Resolution-as-a-Service becomes the only viable option in this shifting landscape of workplace evolution.

Originally published on July 9, 2014.

Download the FREE E-Book, The Savvy Peace Builder by heading to http://www.hsconsultingandtraining.com/e-book-the-savvy-peace-builder/ today!

[ICYMI] On Persistence

“Courage is the discovery that you may not win, and trying when you know you can lose.” -Tom Krause

Monday, we asked a series of questions, borne out of experiences, conversations and observations that we have made as we have been building a business here in the Southern Tier of New York State.

We went from asking “why do we quit?” to “why do we continue?” With that in mind, let us take some time to talk about the opposite of quitting: persistence.

The dictionary defines persistence three ways:

quality of persisting: the quality of continuing steadily despite problems or difficulties
act of persisting: the action of somebody who persists with something
long continuance of something: continuance of an effect after its cause has ceased or been removed.

Clearly there are some elements in these definitions that apply to building a business, building a marriage or building a diet program. But why?

Do we want to prove something to other people?

Do we want to prove something to ourselves?

When we continue steadily despite problems or difficulties, we may look on it as persistence not during the process of persisting, but after the fact of a positive outcome.

After the outcome is secured, and after the battle is won, in hindsight, not foresight, persistence is lauded from the tops of the mountains to the bottoms of the valleys.

When individuals continue steadily in spite of problems or difficulties, and the outcome is the opposite of the one that they intended or stated, others may deride their actions as failures, them personally as incompetents, or as individuals lacking in the foresight to “get out while the getting was good.”

Persistence, in these cases, becomes a virtue only after it is vilified by others as a vice.

Abraham Lincoln was only seen as persistent in a positive way after the Civil War was won and the South defeated.
Business owners are only seen as persistent in a positive way after they make a substantial profit or build a culture or brand that lasts.
Artists, writers, poets and creatives are lauded for their persistence (in this case continuance of an effect after its cause has ceased or been removed) after their efforts have been “recognized” when they are long dead.

The rarities who persist in efforts we would have long since quit at, become the Martin Luther Kings, the Jay Z’s, the Pablo Picassos, the Lady Gagas and the James Deans of the world.

So why should anyone persist in anything at all?

If individual, worthwhile efforts will not be sufficiently recognized, compensated or lauded while alive (or if the actions “fail” according to others’ estimation)…AND…If the applause for such actions deemed “foolish” by others, is only personal, and rarely public, what makes individuals, groups, organizations and even cultures, insist that persisting is the only way to accomplishment?

Could it have something to do with grit?

Originally published on July 24, 2013.Download the FREE E-Book, The Savvy Peace Builder by heading to http://www.hsconsultingandtraining.com/e-book-the-savvy-peace-builder/ today!

HIT Piece 4.28.2015

I’ve been thinking about the depth of change, the nature of adoption and what it takes to move the meter.

As I have moved from mediations (trying to show parties how they can repair a boat with holes in it that may or may not have already hit the iceberg) to corporate training (trying to show parties how to build a better boat in the first place), I have noticed myself becoming more illusioned.

This is the opposite of what I’ve been told should be happening (or what some of my posts from last week seem to reflect here and here) but, instead of becoming disillusioned, I am actually becoming more hopeful.

A participant at a training last week gave me some great feedback. He said, “Never before have I been in a training that was focused on being holistic. In work, out of work, all this stuff that you’ve been talking about can be applied everywhere, to your whole life.”

Yes.

The idea of late adoption versus early adoption in product and service development is based in the power of stories. One group of people tells themselves one set of stories about a product, a service or an idea. Another group of people tells themselves another group of stories about the same things. But, eventually, a culture (or individuals) change, because of the overwhelming weight of one story over another.

Conflicts, confrontations and difficulties are the same way. We built our lives by telling ourselves stories. It’s refreshing in our daily lives (in the middle of the story, starring us) to run across someone who tells you to have the courage to unmake the story (or untell it, if you will) that has ruled your life for many years.

Yeah, I’m becoming illusioned….

-Peace Be With You All-

HIT Piece 4.21.2015

I am not a fan of meaningless meetings.

Part of the reason that I started this gig was to go to fewer meetings, not more.

Part of the reason that meetings are so prevalent is that human beings are social animals, and even in the workplace, being social takes a priority, sometimes over the task at hand.

Social capital is exchanged in meetings through preening, posturing, political jockeying and other means.

There are more immediate and meaningful ways to do this, but meetings are the one way that everyone has agreed upon to take care of this innate social need.

So maybe, I should say, I am not a fan of meetings that are meaningless for me.

-Peace Be With You All-

HIT Piece 4.14.2015

The trouble with leading alone is finding a worthy assistant.

I’m not talking about employees, interns or associates. I’m talking about a genuine, worthy assistant. In the old school parlance of warfare, an armor bearer.

A person who, will carry the armor and assist a commander in battle. We in the West (outside of religious and sectarian spheres) have reduced this role to that of a “paid friend” but the role of an armor bearer was very important in ancient warfare.

The trouble with leading by yourself (the trouble with soloprenuership) is finding a person who will show up. More importantly, that person must be loyal, have a good heart and strong morals and be able to handle uncertainty and risk. All while trusting that the vision of the soloprenuer is going to get everybody to the place where it says on the map.

The trouble with leading alone, these days, is finding someone who will show up consistently. How can I find someone who will show up for pay, when very few people are willing to show up and expend emotional effort for free?

Carrying, cleaning and maintaining the armor and going to war (to push the analogy further) all at the same time is emotionally, psychologically and even financially exhausting.

Where will I find a truly loyal person in the midst of this city?

-Peace Be With You All-

HIT Piece 04.07.2015

I always get frustrated when I read the magazine Fast Company.

Not because the people aren’t inspiring, or the stories aren’t relevant or the insights aren’t actionable.

I don’t get frustrated because of any of those reasons.

I want to throw the magazine across the room every month because, after reading the magazine, I immediately feel two things:

I’m not doing enough, to be enough, and that I might not be dreaming large enough.
Everyone who seems to be doing more, dreaming more and accomplishing more seems to be either younger than me with more access to resources, or older than me with more industry experience.

So, basically, jealousy, envy and covetousness, along with a dollop of self-pity.

Apparently, Jesus and I need to get together on some things, because I’m still a work in progress.

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: jsorrells@hsconsultingandtraining.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

HIT Piece 3.31.2015

What do you do when you’ve been asking the right questions in the wrong way?

And you’ve been doing it for two years.

I’ve been thinking about this project, Human Services Consulting and Training that I’m building. I have been thinking deeply about marketing, branding, connecting, publishing and—ultimately—scaling.

Continuing to do what got me here, isn’t going to get me any further than I already am. And when the right questions have been asked in the wrong way, two years is long enough for that kind of self-involved navel gazing.

Don’t get me wrong: I’ve laid the foundations for the beginning of something else. Something great. Something enterprise-level, C-suite level and above. But to get there, it’s time to pivot.

Away from end-users and toward buyers
Away from social engagement and toward deeper relationships
Away from frivolity and toward more focus

And, if you’ve been paying attention, day-in and day-out, for the last couple of years, you will note that my approach has become sharper and narrower, even as my options have increased to do work that really matters in the space that I am building.

Conflict resolution doesn’t scale, but engagement, relationships and products do.

It’s time to start asking the right questions in the right way….

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: jsorrells@hsconsultingandtraining.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

HIT Piece 03.24.2015

The applause from the crowd surrounding the arena is starting.

First, it begins with one set of hands, giving permission to several more, and several more, until the entire arena is wrapped in thunderous applause.

But then, when they aren’t calling for you anymore, when the lights go down, and the crowd melts away into the night, back to their homes and their responsibilities, and I am forgotten, what’s left?

The people I inspired and the people I will hire.

The blog, the podcast and the coming video channel and the online web hub/portal.

The research, the writing, the books and the ebooks.

The modules, the trainings, the seminars.

The software, the apps, the projects.

The work.

Because, one day, I will leave all of these arenas permanently, never to stand on these particular stages again.But…not just yet.

Keep that one set of hands clapping….

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: jsorrells@hsonsultingandtraining.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

HIT Piece 03.17.2015

The grind, the grind, the grind…

Is all real.

But that doesn’t matter, unless the grind starts grinding me.

And I can’t really be worried about what other people are thinking right now.

Not even in the dark of night.

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: jsorrells@hsconsultingandtraining.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/