Dear Graduates of High School & College – 2014 –

Dear Graduates of High School & College-

You have been told a lot of things by a lot of well meaning individuals on the way to the end at which you find yourself. You have been told things by your parents, your teachers, your counselors, your professors and even your crazy Aunt Ida.

But now, I’m going to tell you something that none of them may have had either the wherewithal or the gumption to mention. I’m going to try to do it gently, but, as a famous man once said “The Truth isn’t mean, it’s just the Truth.”

So….here we go…

Life is hard. Your grades, those letters that you spent a lot of time, sweat and—in some cases—blood, to get don’t matter a hill of beans to anybody outside of this institution from which you find yourself escaping.

Those little letters (and numbers in some cases) actually serve to hobble you and handicap you in venues outside of here.

The attainment of them has twisted your thinking into believing that there is only one way of doing, thinking, and being, when, in actuality, there are an infinite number of ways of thinking, doing, and being and no one can tell you which one is the best.

This realization is the chief thing that makes life hard for the first five years after you leave here. There are right and wrong decisions, but there are no definite decisions.

Employers don’t care about how smart you are.

You are the smartest generation to ever graduate from educational institutions that haven’t changed their approach to education significantly since World War 2 (it was something that happened in between the end of the Great Depression and the end of Jim Crow. Google it.) and no one outside of these walls cares about your level of intellectual intelligence. Unless you’re a doctor or engineer.

Employers only care about you showing up, doing the work, not complaining or bad mouthing them either in person or online, and then taking their check and going home to your one-bedroom, badly light and poorly heated apartment.

They don’t care about your student loan debt.
They don’t care that you fed kids in Kenya last year.
They don’t care that you have an active Youtube.com channel with 30,000 hits.

Employers are really…really…really…narrowly focused.

They only care about how much your work adds to their bottom line. In business speak, this is called “added value.”

And most of your bosses, i.e. employers, supervisors, managers and others above you, who will hire you, are people that never graduated college and couldn’t wait to get away from high school, or who drank their way through college and ten years later made anywhere between $250,000 and $1,000,000.

And all your intellectual capacity won’t matter a hill of beans to them.

Develop something, anything that you own.

Look, social media is great for Snap Chatting to your friends, knocking other people on Twitter or getting all hot and bothered about the Ukraine or social justice on Facebook, but these platforms can also be used to build a project, an idea or—even a business—that YOU care about.

This road, the road through entrepreneurship—is hard, heartbreaking, long, and lonely and will not be materially fulfilling for the first ten years that you are doing it.

Almost everyone will tell you that you’re crazy.
Almost everyone will silently cheer for your failure.
Almost everyone will tell you about their half-baked ideas.

But if you can survive all of that, you can have something that no one in any previous generation has had for a very long time: Positional financial security.

Or, you’ll crash and burn and fail.

But, at least you won’t have another $150,000 of student loans in your life, chipping away at your financial, emotional, marital (some of you out here WILL get married) and psychological health.

I will not close with the maxim that many do to “follow your passion.” The reason I won’t is because the Greek root of the work passion really means to “work unceasing.”

I will close by encouraging you to work.

Work unceasingly.

So…go do that.

Go to work.

Thank you.

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: jsorrells@hsconsultingandtraining.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

[Opinion] Would You Like a Side of Mediation with That?

Mediation and sales have several things in common:

They both involve establishing trust right away.
They both involve starting from a referral from one or more of the parties.
They both involve establishing a relationship between the two parties and the mediator/s.

The key place where sales and mediation differ is that a sale is usually closed: Either the salesperson gets the order and gets paid, or the prospect gets the salesperson to go away.

Mediation relies on both parties having the autonomy to walk away. Sales involves parties being pressured (whether lightly or heavily) into making a decision to “buy” or “walk-away.”

The big takeaway form all of this is that if your career is in mediation, learning where to put pressure on versus where to ensure autonomy will ensure that each participant has a satisfactory outcome.

And that you get paid.

Active listening is a huge driver for both sales and mediation.

If you aren’t listing to what your customer is saying that they want—or the parties in the dispute are saying that they want—you’ll wind up going home.

Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA

Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: jsorrells@hsconsultingandtraining.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

[Opinion] The 1%

Already acquired wealth generates abundance, right?

It follows then, that from wealth a person, organization–or, even an invention or an idea–can spread more quickly, and the people promoting it can decide to be generous or greedy, based upon market forces, government regulation and personal preference.

Right?

But, what if everybody (or, let’s say 60%) of “average people” (those who haven’t acquired wealth) had access to the same tools to disrupt the market, and create abundance, as the people who built the market in the first place?

What percentage of that 60% would use those tools to dream—not just big, but gigantically—to build something world hacking and world changing?

15%?

10%?

5%?

We had a discussion the other day about this very topic—and the conflicts and tensions that such a question raises—and the point was made that if people are unemployed in, or left out of, an economic system that has shifted toward sharing and abundance, rather than staying in the stagnant model of scarcity and parceled out wealth, then those unemployed won’t get a new job…

…they won’t participate in a new economy…

…they won’t play the game.

And the enterprising few who do parlay the access and tools in the abundance economy will be the ones who will make up the upper 1% of a society.With the unemployed generating no revenue, because the jobs they have don’t exist anymore and the industries that they used to work in changed radically.

Ultimately, the unemployed will be left behind in an abundance economy.

This perspective and argument is representative of a “stuff” based mentality that operates on a scarcity principle.

The people who will be unemployed by the disruption of generosity have nothing to worry about.

Neither, as a matter of fact, do the people who will advocate for them, try to pass laws to protect them, or develop charities to feed and clothe them.

We think that the number of those who will be enterprising (or entrepreneurial) enough to take advantage of the tools of a disruptive, abundant economy will remain where they have always been (somewhere around 1%-5% of the overall population) for quite some time, because of one factor that overrides paying bills, feeding a family, paying for college or getting ahead.

Fear.

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: jsorrells@hsconsultingandtraining.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/

[Opinion] The Conflict Games

The most raw experiences participants and audiences still have in the world is the experiences they share in the arena of sports.

In an era where most of the news is known before it can even be digested, the realm of sports offers people an opportunity to experience something almost unknown these days: the unknowable outcome.

Will she make the jump over the horizontal pole, or not?

Which car will cross the finish line first without crashing?

Will the team who has an undefeated record lose this week?

The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat.

Unknowable outcomes move people with the drama, the action and suspense of story, without all the prefabricated feel of false entertainment. And when we live in an era where “reality stars” appear to be ever more fake and ludicrous, sports offers hope of seeing a genuine person perform well—or fail miserably.

We read an article recently about the growing popularity of cross fit in the United States and a trainer was quoted as saying: “There’s no bullshit in sports. Either you can lift the weight or you can’t. You say that you can deadlift 450lbs, well then let’s put on the plates and see.”

Brilliant analysis.

It also applies to conflicts.

Conflict and peace are unpredictable and, much like sports, just when you think that you know the score or the outcome, someone, or something, can sneak in for the win or the tie.

In a conflict, there’s plenty of bupkiss floating around, and its tough when the stories we tell (which are heavier than any weight we could possibly deadlift) are piled on the bar. And then, the people opposite us may tell us that “Either you can lift it or you can’t.”

But the unknowable outcome still drives us in sport and in conflict. So, we here at HSCT have a proposal: What if we had an Olympic Games for conflict management, peace building, coalition forming, collaborative law and conflict resolution?

Would anyone show up to watch that thrill and agony?

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: hsconsultingandtraining@gmail.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/