HIT Piece 06.10.2014

“…but I would have liked to have been asked!”

This statement typically…

…comes from the ego…
…comes from a fear of being left out, left behind, or not given consideration…
…covers a situation that says nothing about the other person’s selfishness, lack of consideration, caring, etc., and says everything about the person making the statement and their insecurities.

I have often completed a complaint with this phrase.

I have been fearful, anxious, insecure and not consulted often.

Sometimes, this has led to more conflict as I have reacted, rather than responded.

I’m trying to catch myself and do better.

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: hsconsultingandtraining@gmail.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/
HSCT’s website: http://www.hsconsultingandtraining.com

Would You Rather Be Right or Be Reconciled?

A Christian approach to peacemaking revolves around three behavioral encouragements that are very simple to talk and to write about, by very hard to practically accomplish.

Believers are encouraged to confront first one at a time, then in two’s, then in the sight of the church.
Believers are encouraged to confront in love and to seek understanding first, rather than judgment.
Believers are encouraged to avoid confronting in the law first (via litigation) and to instead confront in the Spirit.

Think about how often we get into conflicts—in the workplace, in our families, even in our churches—and how rarely we exercise the first step of positive confrontation.

The initial step is hard, confrontation, because we would sometimes rather be right, than be reconciled.

But when we favor “rightness” over reconciliation, we do not allow the better angels of our nature to truly work on our hearts.

Would you rather be right, or be reconciled?

[See: KJV Matthew 5:21-26; Luke 17:3-4; Romans 12:18; Matthew 18:15-17]

-Peace Be With You All-

Jesan Sorrells, MA
Principal Conflict Engagement Consultant
Human Services Consulting and Training (HSCT)
Email HSCT: hsconsultingandtraining@gmail.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HSConsultingandTraining
Twitter: www.twitter.com/Sorrells79
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jesansorrells/
HSCT’s website: http://www.hsconsultingandtraining.com

June 6, 1944: 70 Years Later

“I’ll see you on the beach!”

And with that, Tom Hanks shepherds us through Steven Spielberg’s 1998 film, Saving Private Ryan, about the D-Day landings and the aftermath of them, for a squad of soldiers.

70 years ago today, the Normandy Landings occurred, without which we would not have the pleasure of blogging for you every day.

D-Day was important as was the aftermath.

The efforts of the Russians on the Eastern Front were in some ways, even more important than the events of D-Day.

Without the Normandy Landings, here are a few things we might have missed in the 20th century:

Postwar economic expansion
The rise of nuclear power
African American Civil Rights
The rights of women being codifed into law
The scourge of Communism
The Internet coming to commercial viability
And so on, and so on, and so on…

It is notoriously difficult to counterfactualize history, because we only know what did happen, and can never know what could have happened.

But to the grandparents and great-grandparents who did lay down their lives on those beaches, on this day, June 6, 1944, we here at HSCT would like to say thank you for laying down your lives on the altar of liberty.

-Peace Be With You All-

Pajama Based Coding

Are you wasting your time?

This is the interesting summation that Michael Tomeson came to in his Forbes article from a couple of weeks ago.

In doing work that can never be compensated for, to help build something for a corporation who will take it and make profit off of it—but not share any of it with you—you are, in essence wasting your time.

This is a classic conclusion that bubbles up from the depths of the old, Industrial based economic thinking, where every piece of effort to make a widget can be monetized, categorized and codified.

The application of scientific management for labor and profit, if you will.

We here at HSCT don’t believe that you’re wasting your time. Nor are we cynical enough to believe that you would rather help a corporation than help your fellow man.

We do believe that the economic, cultural and social rules are being rewritten, and the next trick to be played will be on all of those systems that insist on being non-symbolic, highly regulated and impervious to any disruptions.

You know, the kind of disruptions that encourage you to sit in your pajamas and code for free while having to go “work” for a big-box retailer for minimum wage.

-Peace Be With You All-

3 Organizations Operating on Scarcity

Some companies don’t believe that they will be impacted by the sharing economy. Hey Im at a Call Center

Some organizations and associations believe that they will continually be allowed to “skate by” operating with a scarcity based model.

Some of these organizations exist in the area of public utilities (i.e. gas, electric, water, etc.), public governance (i.e. state and local governments) and big brands (i.e. hotels, car dealers, certain media companies).

They believe that their large size will insulate them from the disruptions that the Internet and that social media have already created in other areas of the economy.

Public utilities believe that they will be saved by government regulation from having to collaborate and connect with customers on prices, processes, accessibility, affordability, etc.
Public governance believes that since they have everyone’s tax dollars, they will be insulated as they have been under the old rules of an industrial economy, from competitive market forces.
Big brands believe that their lobbying, cash and influence will allow them to buy, bribe or force out the smaller, swifter competitors and keep the market positions that they have had for the last century.

They are all wrong.

We are in the midst of a cultural, social, political and economic evolution.

We are reverting back to the time of tribal connections, based on Twitter and Instagram and collaborative problem solving through openness, transparency and authenticity.

This is a golden opportunity to explore the conflicts between the old and the new and to help resolve them in favor of everybody.

So…who’s going to step up? I’m already doing my part…

-Peace Be With You All-

HSCT Retreats From Repealing Conflict Question

“How many people in this room have a conflict in their lives?”

We ask this question as part of our 30 second elevator speech describing who we are, what we do and what our approach to conflict is here at HSCT, every time we stand up at a networking event.

From rooms as small as four people to rooms with as many as one hundred people, no one yet has raised their hands.

We’ll keep asking, but, we recall that, even back into Biblical times, conflict existed.

James, Jesus’ brother pointed out in his gospel (4:1-3) that wars and fightings occur among people because of the desires (in the original King James version, the word used is “lusts”) that do battle inside of us.

And yet, no one ever raises their hand.

Poor—or no—communication leads to conflict.
Differences in priorities, values, goals, talents and opinions lead to conflict.
Competition over perceived limited resources leads to conflict.
And,of course, knowing what to do, and doing the opposite, leads to conflict. In the Bible, this is called “sin.”

Sometimes the worst types of conflicts, such as—well—wars and fightings, come about because of sinful actions, desires and behaviors.

So why are so many people unwilling to answer the question we pose honestly?

Well, it’s hard to admit that conflict exists, particularly if the person admitting to it doesn’t perceive there to be a conflict.

It’s also hard if the other party refuses to acknowledge that there is even a problem in the first place.

Finally, admitting to having a conflict requires us to be vulnerable, and there is no place we’d rather not be vulnerable, than in front of our peers at a networking event.

So, we’ll ask at the end of this blog post:

“How many people in this room have a conflict in their lives?”

[Thanks to Ken Sande. Check out his book here.]

-Peace Be With You All-